a fate worse than death

**sigh**
K, I know I should be so excited about our upcoming trip Mexico..getting away from temperatures that are hovering near -30 but honestly, I just want to scream!
The call of the sun and the sand can also be a fate worse than death!!
You know what I am talking about.
It's the call of the swimsuit.
A garment worn while swimming or lounging on the beach sipping one of those fruity beverages with a straw ....shaurh..that's what they want you to believe.
Unless you are 5'6 and look like you have never worked out a day in your life that's not what the rest of us see.
Who wants to look at themselves in a skin tight piece of spandex that is designed to remind you that your butt is too big and your boobies are too small...How on earth is it that this particular piece of clothing designed to keep you covered so you can swim makes even the strongest woman shake in her uugs?
Did I mention on a good day I HATE swim suit shopping?
That I know that I won't look anything like the "swimsuit models or Gym gods" that are attending the wedding with us but really, do you think they are going to want to hang out with us all the time?
I am not even in the same league as those girls but honestly,I never tried too be.
I am at least 10 years their senior..totally different place in my life from them too.
I like who I am...that was the one gift that my 30's have given to me.
I know who I am and I am okay in my own skin.
A mommy to 3 amazing kids with the stretch marks to prove that they did in fact come from my body.
I will admit that post baby body isn't exactly what I was aiming for but that's why I go to the gym!!
I am trying to get back pre-baby body so I know that I am not perfect.
A new swimsuit was just what the doctor ordered..that would make me feel better so,
I went swimsuit shopping yesterday so I wouldn't "embarrass" myself at the beach next to all the "swimsuit models or Gym gods"
Ugh ugh ugh..
who am I trying to fool?
I am not going to be wearing a itsey bitsey teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini and I am okay with that but why can't they make a swim suit to suit every body type?
Is it that hard to have a control tummy and a bra in normal bathing suits too?
Guess I will find out...I'm going swimsuit shopping again tonight.
So, if you hear a horrible scream...it's just me..looking at myself in the mirror of some change room modeling yet another monstrosity that needs to be burned.