January 12, 2010

..I got nothing.

Startling I am sure seeing as there are times when I am sure that Big Daddy or my msc would love me to just BE quiet and enjoy the moment.
But, seriously, I got nothing.
All I want to do is curl up in my bed with my book and read the morning away.
But no, I get to go to my dreadful ultrasound this afternoon that deep down I know is good for me but I really would rather not go.
wouldn't it be a hoot if the doctors at the hospital was wrong.
That I didn't "really" miscarry and this was all just a huge misunderstanding?
yeah, I know.
I live in the real world and not on a soap opera.
That's not the case.
There is no bun in my oven...yet.
I am going to be shuffled quickly into a cubical so I will not have to see all those swollen bellies of women who are anxiously awaiting their first glimpses of their unborn babies.
Nothing more heart wrenching then knowing that I should be pregnant but something went terribly wrong and now they are wondering if I am "retaining product" hence the importance of this "Emergency ultrasound"
Forced to wear an unflattering gown that makes my legs look even whiter than they normally are.
I wonder if they plan it that way?
I mean, honestly, my dignity is going to be flying out of the room once they begin but couldn't they spare us the horrific gown?
At least I get to wear my socks...and a cute pair at that.
There is power in a simple pair of socks...and no one is going to change that!!

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Chickie said...

saying prayers for you!