October 15, 2009

Tell me a story..

Because the one that keeps repeating over and over in my head is one I wish I could close the book on.
Shove it under the bed and let the dust bunnies get it.
I hate that I can't. But I sure wish I could.
I hate that 7 months ago my little one went to be with Jesus.
I hate that my due date is almost here and I will have empty arms on the day that it does.
I don't know what that day will look like.
Now don't get me wrong.
This isn't a pity party.
There are mothers who have gone thru much much worse than I have.
I'm just trying to sort out these emotions before they over run me.
I still have the pregnancy test tucked away.
Why I am keeping it I don't know but it's the only thing I have to tell me that it was real.
That the pain I felt was real.
But the healing I have experienced has helped numb the pain.
I know with time it will go away.
I'm just not sure when.

Today is pregnancy and infant loss awareness day.
Tonight at 7 there will be candles lit all over the country as parents remember.
I just wish that I wasn't one of them.
But I am.
Please join me in remembering all the babies who have gone too soon, including my own sweet little baby.
And hug a loss momma...heaven knows we need it!

post signature


This Is Me, Doing What I Do said...

HUGS Mama, I don't even have words to say. I am so sorry.